Fuck around and find out (with your website)

I’m embarrassed to admit that I’ve been “working” on my new website since January…

But NOW it is FINALLY. DONE.

So after 8 months… How did I finish?

When I first started, I spent a lot of time thinking and planning the most efficient way I could do it, which looked similar to how most web designers and developers do it. 

Except… I kept tripping at each step. I was falling into self-doubt, running in circles, your typical perfectionist bullshit. It was miserable. 

It’s a lot of pressure to design something that has to make you money. 

Let alone designing my portfolio. It has to look PRETTY dang great for people to trust me with their brands.

Honestly, my site only got done by accident. 

I stumbled on a Tumblr site that gave me those old THEME-COVETING chills. 

The old instant right-click-view-source impulse. (If you’re under 30… millennial cringe ahead.) 

I thought back to a time when I was excited about building websites… I first taught myself HTML and CSS to code geocities sites and neopets shops. And then my xanga, myspace, tumblr. 

From when I was about 12-22, gothifying blog and profile templates was one of my top weird precocious hobbies. What went wrong?

The stakes got higher, and it became an obligation. 

So, how do I access that curious, excited, FUN late-night-coding-spree energy again? 

How did I approach it before, and what changed?

Back then, websites were an experiment in personal expression. 

Now, it’s a money-making marketing tool that I have to “get right” ~lest I starve~

Obviously... that doesn’t usually end well lol. 

So, I threw out my big plan, opened up squarespace and decided to just fuck around with it. 

Did it take longer than it would have if I had forced my way through my Efficient Plan? Probably. 

But I made something I like by setting aside one hour a week to just… fuck around. 

Without the to-do list and expectations, that hour often turned into several. And I’d be excited to revisit it the next day, too. 

If you’re sick of looking at whatever you’ve been working on lately… have you given yourself permission to fuck around and find out? 

What’s the worst that could happen? You waste some time? If you actually enjoy it, you will at least show up for it. 

My Cap moon is furious that this works, but I highly recommend taking your Serious Project and fucking around with it a little. 

Let me know how it goes.